Do You Have Time For Them?
I meet lot of old couples in my apartment complex, most of them who stay by themselves away from their children and I like to talk to them and listen to their never ending stories. They have so much to tell – from their early marriage and their life struggles, trust me I don’t mind listening with all my attention. I have known their kids and grand kids through their stories and most parts of their stories has their children in them. I have seen them cry now and then when they talk about their present and sometimes when they feel neglected, I have seen the spark in their eyes when they speak of those old days. They never stop praising them, they talk about their success stories and how smart they are but still I can feel that loneliness and emptiness in their lives to such an extent that they cannot stop talking about them.
I am sure life is not easy at this stage – they want to be around their children, they want to celebrate festivals together – of course these are not so difficult to fulfill, is it? Parents somehow never complain as they like to see us happy and busy in our lives, making money and happily settled. But how busy we get, that we forget to keep in touch. As western culture is taking over, children are moving out of their parent’s house even before marriage in India, though in a way it saves you from the everyday differences that might come up due to difference in opinions and lifestyle, but it also separates you from them.
What we have not learnt from western culture is keeping in touch with our parents, meeting with families on weekends and hosting dinner/lunches for family. Why is it so easy to call up your friends on a weekend but so difficult to invite your parents, a day in a week or two? Is it so difficult? I am sure it’s difficult if you are not in the same city but this scenario is prevalent in even those families where the kids and aged parents live in the same city but hardly find time to meet.
They as parents have given all their life in bringing us up, sacrificed innumerable things we wouldn’t even know about and for them their lives still revolve around us. Trust me some of the people that I have been talking to talk about their children’s house and their work with so much enthusiasm, that it makes me sad that their children have no time for them. I am no expert but still I can say that a few things will certainly make your parents and your in-laws happy, be it call them now and then and asking how they are doing or inviting them for lunch/dinner. Children love their grandparents; weekends with them can be a great option to spend time together. Don’t forget special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries make them feel good, pamper them.
What we do for our parents or how we treat our parents will have a great impact on our children, they will treat them the same way we treat them and don’t forget we are going to get old someday and be in the same position. Set a good example for your kids. The point is not to pay back your parents, it’s fairly impossible to pay them back but yes…all they need is some company and some care, so show them some love.
I am Priyanka, full time mommy to a 2.4 year old Atharva. I’m very old school, I believe in breastfeeding, cloth diapers and natural birth. The last three years have a changed a lot in me, I feel very transformed as a person. I have known various sides of me in this process from pregnancy to motherhood. From cooking to sewing and many more, I have explored many creative activities and still exploring some more…who says being a mother takes away everything? I have gained a lot, learnt a lot. I like to share my stories and chat with mommies. I’m also a social media enthusiast and enjoy blogging at Dailydose.
