Only One! Are you Sure?… Yes, Of Course!

The neighbours, the acquaintances and my grand Ma would never forget to put this across.

Of course, she needs a brother to tie Rakhi to… what are you waiting for?

My mother would say… She has cousins and she will tie Rakhi to them. What is the guarantee that the next one would be a boy?

What-ever, you need to have another one, after all she needs someone to play with!… Don’t you, kiddo? And my cheek would be pulled down.

No, I don’t think so… my Mum would say even before me.

(I never regret not having a sibling honestly, I have some great cousins.)

Are you sure?

Yes, of course!

The ‘onlies’ are difficult to deal with. They become pampered, spoilt and inept for the society.

Sigh!

Some things just annoy me like why are men spared of these volley of questions, strange looks and rude remarks. Why should only females sulk and go around with the guilt in the heart?

My generation does not want a second child and I can see there is a rise in the number of couples who say that ‘One is cool.’ Our parents and the generation ten years older to us and above, are not happy about it. I only laugh at it and to humor them I would say that just because they have had more than one doesn’t mean that they will not let us live a life uncomplicated… absolutely sorted with just one child, no offence intended to anyone.

Basically, the society does pressurize the parents to have a second child even if they decide not to have another one out of their own personal understanding. This should not be happening. No one has the right to intrude in personal matters and it’s just not about a simple yes or no. Raising a child is not a simple affair – said-n-done.

There’s more to it than reasons like need for a sibling, a boy, only one turning into a brat or lonely one. A couple has to assess their financial, emotional and physical capability and capacity both before going for another one. Something very important comes out of this is, just like we do not want someone to raise a question to us, similarly we should never poke others with such questions.

Majorly, whether one raises one, two or three kids, the most valued aspect of parenting is that children must be raised with a set of responsibilities. Also, there are no framed rules for raising a child. Even N number of books on parenting cannot guarantee perfect rules of doing it. Thus, I am sure we would all agree to it and let the parents decide the numbers for themselves.

And all those who want to keep one, let me assure you ‘one is fun’. I never regret for not tying a rakhi nor did I turn into a spoiled one. The credit for this goes to my parents. They ensured that they were my best friends and they did not pamper me in excess. Also I never felt lonely; I have had great friends and cousins who have given me all kind of emotional support. Touch wood!

A bit of my own experience:

I have had undivided attention.

I was always content, happy, looked after as all the time and energy of my parents was directed towards me.

I had best of things, whatever it was.

I had none to be compared to.

I never faced sibling rivalry.

I never felt they loved anyone more than me, not even for a day.

I learnt my independence soon enough.

I felt no loneliness.

I have had my ways at times but more than that my actions have been eyed upon promptly and properly.

Parental involvement has helped me talk everything to them and I would never term it as over-involvement.

I know I have the responsibility to look after my parents and even if I had siblings, my role would have still remained the same. Thus it’s been a cool experience to be the single one. Only if you want another one, go for it. Don’t look for excuses and don’t let others show you reasons for it.

The best of all, my parents were happy in raising a healthy, happy, mannered and well-educated daughter.

Engineer by Profession and an ABC by Passion, Manjulika Pramod would elaborate it as Artist, Blogger and a Crazy one for Books. Putting it other way round she loves to travel and write travelogues, she plays with colors to vent out her creative pangs. She is also an avid reader and out to spread the reading virus. She works with a telecom MNC and in little spare times, she reviews books and interviews authors. Manjulika has a story published in Chicken Soup for the Soul to her credit and you can catch her on her blog.