Teenage Children And Parental Control
This is a lovely story that I came across in one of the TV crime serials. That particular episode outlined a terrible crime involving a teenage girl 17 years of age who was repeatedly stopped and threatened from interacting with her boyfriend who was 18 years old. They belonged to different communities. After much strife and rebellion, the girl finally killed her mother orphaning her younger brother and herself. Her father had died in her childhood. The story I wanted to share goes like this:
Once upon a time, there was a 13-year-old girl, Shikha, who studied in school. She comes home one evening and tells her mother that she likes a classmate, Manav, a lot. She wants to marry him. The mother gets all upset and lectures her on concentrating on her studies and tells her to go to the room.
In the evening, her father comes home from office. Shikha tells him the same thing. Her father seems quite fine with it. He says, “sure, we will get you married to him. It is a great idea, but you are very young. When you grow older, we will get you married. Meanwhile, meet him and get to know him better.” Happy to hear that and satisfied, Shikha retires to her room. Her mother is outraged at her husband’s words and shows her anger pointedly.
Six months later, Shikha comes to her dad and says that she does not like Manav anymore. She likes Puneet now. He is very smart and intelligent, and she would like to marry him. Her father says, he is fine with it. He will get them married when she is old enough after she completes her studies. 15 years later, Shikha sits in her family home with her toddler daughter and reminisces about this incident.
She is married to neither of these guys now. She asks her father whether he had said what he said with sincerity. And, her father said that he meant it truthfully. He knew that when the time will actually come to make the choice of her life partner, his daughter would use her gumption and wisdom. He wanted her to grow up and make her own choice when she was equipped to do so.
This story made so much sense to me. The raging hormones in teenagers and parents using force, verbal or physical abuse to make them toe the line is a recipe for disaster. Being patient is difficult and passing judgments on others is really easy. But, we have been through that phase and must approach the same in our children with restraint, respect and commonsense especially when they seem to be in the rebellion mode.
What do you think about the story and its implied message?
Rachna Parmar is an avid blogger, a passionate cook, fitness enthusiast, loving wife, and mom to two feisty sons and a Labrador! She is also a Freelance Content Writer and an entrepreneur. She co-owns her startup, Tranquil Software Solutions Pvt. Ltd. Reach her at http://rachnaparmar.com or @rachnaparmar her twitter handle.
