When They Cant Say “I Missed You”

I’m currently reading a book called “Break In” by Dick Francis. It’s a story of a steeplechase jockey and his twin sister set in the backdrop of Francis’ forte – horse racing.

Right from the beginning of the story, it is made clear that the two leads have a bond that is strongly telepathic, they can both read each other’s mind and even as kids, could figure out where the other was, when the elders tired of searching for one.

As I go deeper into the narration, I feel as though this is what the bond between Lui and Shobby is like. It is fascinating, to see them both together. They fight, they yell, they squabble, they land punches and usually beg us to get rid of the other. “Throw her out of the house”, commands Shobby. “Give him away to <some relative>”, yells Lui. So yeah, they appear to hate each other from the bottom of their hearts!

But the second we, the adults, try to reprimand any one of them, the other gives out a banshee call and literally goes for our throats 😐

Lui will complain about Shobby, I turn to scold Shobby and Lui will whack me with her plastic bat, indignant that I dared to raise my voice on her brother! Shobby, not the whacking type, tends to hurl himself on us to put maximum distance between us and his sister. A kabaddi-champion in the making, is my wild guess!

I can list a hundred different instances when they both abhor the intervention of any third person between them. At school, they may completely ignore each other but when any one of them is ill and at home, the teachers call up to say that the other was found moping and not mixing with the other kids. It is kind of cute to see how they miss each other like this.

Alas, they suck at expressing this sentiment.

Me and my husband are the types who go “love you”, “miss you” at the drop of a hat. Our efforts are directed towards the kids learning how to be open about how they feel. If they can express their anger and fear clearly, what holds them back from expressing their love and longing?! At most, they will ask about the other, “where is Lui?”, Shobby would wonder if he doesn’t see his sister at home. “At the neighbors”, I would reply, at which he would go to the neighbors’ place and call out for his sister.

Lui, being the brat that she is, would refuse immediately. Shobby would stand there, pleading with her to come back home. “Why”, my girl would ask of him. At which, any normal kid would reply, “to play” or “I miss you”. But not Shobby. He would stand there, dumbstruck, fighting for the right answer, knowing it, yet being unable to utter the words. It is quite heartbreaking to see the conflict stamped on his face. At most, he would give up and come back home with a small face. “She is not coming”, he would lament in a small voice almost shuddering with the effort to not cry. “But why do you want her to come back now. You can play with your toys till then”, I would suggest. He would simply shrug his shoulders and make another trip to the neighbors’ to make a last-ditch effort and persuade his sister to come back.

When it’s the boy who is out with his father or uncle, Lui would ask a thousand times when her brother would come back. Every two minutes she would wonder if they are back yet. Though once Shobby comes back, both the kids will play separately, at times of being away from each other, they feel an ache that lies just between them two. It is special, this bond… of knowing each other since their hearts first beat together, of cuddling up together since they were infants, of this reassurance of company.

At four years of age, they have made friends at school and day-care. They remember the children of our friends by name. They are slowly showing improving social skills. The only skill they lack as of now, is the ability to pull each other into an impromptu hug and accept they love and miss each other.

I’m just waiting for them to grow up and do that. Wouldn’t that be a heart-warming sight?!

Noorulayn Syed is a full-time wife, professional, daughter-in-law and an all-time mother (that’s because she wanted to be a mother since she was knee-high). Find more posts on her twins at http://momofrs.wordpress.com